When I first came home from my failed University I was in a deep and heavy depression. Several times I was even on the verge of committing suicide. I remember there was one thing keeping me alive and that was building toy airplanes. It was sort of my one way of survival. There was a lot of mental damage throughout the past year and somehow I was able to get passed it but thanks to my love of Airplanes I had some success. Depression is a life long battle that never seems to stop, from Direct Current electronics all the way to programming Integrated Circuits there is a constant battle. It’s weird though how it only took me 1 year to go from building these tiny things into building servo motors and programming microchips and sensors.
It goes to show you though in your darkest moments the one thing you must do is build a useful skill whether it’d be sewing,plumbing, carpentry anything that can be useful is good. Resorting to drugs does not make a person, it only creates a selfish void in their life. Thinking about my loneliness back then still haunts me to this day and I tend to think a lot about these small things. I don’t know how long I will be reconciling my past, perhaps these memories will haunt me for the rest of my life. All I know is that creating is what brings up society and I will never again bring down society. I’m sorry for my selfishness. I wonder sometimes though perhaps 10 years down the road when my electrical life is at it’s peak will I still look back on that year?
To anyone reading this, please understand I’m not a bad human being. Just was once a lost soul, unfortunately I have 70 more years of make up to do